Candor

One of my most favorite podcast is the Michael Hyatt “Lead to Win” podcast.

I love this podcast for 2 reasons:

  1. The focus is on leadership
  2. Megan Hyatt Miller, Michael Hyatt’s daughter, is the co-host on the program (I love a good father-daughter combo.)

This week’s episode was all about the “Elements of a Great Team Culture” and there were quite a few ideas that peaked my interest and had my wheels turning. But the one that I kept coming back to was the importance of candor.

Side note:
When I first heard him say “candor” I immediately thought of the faction in Divergent. Yup, I’m that much of a book nerd (fiction AND non-fiction mind you) that my mind went right to Veronica Roth’s book series. Good times.

Anyway, back to the podcast and the subject of candor.

Candor means:

The quality of being open and honest in expression; frankness.

There are a few other terms for candor that are used more often: transparency, integrity, honesty, full-disclosure, facing reality….

I think the reason this idea of candor stuck out to me is because I highly value it.

Like, HIGHLY you guys.

I am very much a person of candor. I believe being honest, transparent and acting with integrity are HUGE….which, if you’ve read any of my past blog posts…you know is true.

Speaking of past blog posts….my candor and openness has been shared and interpreted in a way that I did not expect it to be.  CrAzY right?!?! (not really, I’m pretty sure it’s normal for thoughts and feelings to be misinterpreted…)

In a past post, I mentioned some prrrreeeeeeeeetty personal thoughts and feelings I had about my competencies as a leader, the feelings others had exhibited towards me as well as a big event in our financial journey. I never mentioned any names, but….maybe I should have? Then it wouldn’t have been open to interpretation. (But really, that post was about me, MY feelings, not the people who contributed to those feelings. So I guess no, mentioning names wasn’t necessary. Because it wasn’t about them, or anyone else for that matter).

In that post, I truly do not feel anything I said was derogatory, cruel or harmful to anyone else (and that was never the point)…yet honestly I’ve spent quite a bit of my energy thinking about how others have interpreted my words.

But really…I shouldn’t spend anymore of my energy on the way my openness and feelings have been interpreted by others right? Right….?(that’s me trying to talk myself into not letting it bother me…….cause it still bothers me…a little….ok maybe more than a little…)

But really, I learned 2 important things from being open, transparent and vulnerable in that previous post (that I have since made private. Someday it may see the light of public eyes again):

  1. You can’t be partially honest or somewhat transparent. You’re either in or you’re out people.

    If you’re gonna say it? Say it. If you consistently live your life in an open and honest manner, there should be no question on what you feel and what you want other people to know.

   2.  Just because I embrace my vulnerability and believe sharing thoughts and feelings is a sign of strength, doesn’t mean everyone feels the same OR…thatIneedtobeopenwitheveryoneallthetime.

(that’s me talking fast…you know, how you do when you say something you know is true but hope saying it fast makes it less true?)

Duh right?

You probably knew that. I’m still learning. Be patient with me.

In fact, Dr. Brene Brown, who has way better things to say about vulnerability then I do (no for reals, read her books) said this, and it gave me a whole new perspective:

 

Dr. Brene Brown_

 

I DO think a life of honesty, integrity and transparency (aka candor) is vital to a life well lived.

So, how can we encourage more candor in our lives?      And grow from it?

  • Reach out and ask questions about how you’re doing.

    •  Regardless of your role, it’s important to know how you’re doing. You could be a spouse, parent, televangelist, trapeze artist, writer, underwater basket weaver…you get the point. Just ask: hey, how am I doing? Is there anything I could be doing better?

  • Learn to accept, and even welcome, feedback that may be less than positive

  • Thank those who had the courage to be open and honest with you

And as Ghandi said:

be truthfulgentle

Now go out there and be your amazing self.

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